We all make mistakes–it’s a normal part of being human. Some of us move through life trying to be perfect and not make mistakes, but that’s the wrong way to think about it. Rather than avoiding failure, we should embrace the mistakes we make. This post will discuss how to learn from your mistakes shifting your mindset.
Personal Story
I want to start with a personal example. As someone who has dedicated their life to climbing, a big part of my identity revolves around being an athlete. Years of experience give me confidence in my abilities.
Most of the time, that confidence serves me well. But other times, it holds me back. I remember the time I was climbing outside and fell on a route that was well below my usual level—right after watching someone else send it. The fall shook my confidence, and instead of accepting what happened, I started creating excuses in my head:
“I wasn’t warmed up enough.”
“That other climber just has naturally stronger fingers.” (Yes, I’ve actually thought that.)
Living in Your Bubble
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I call this “living in your bubble.” Our ego creates this bubble to protect our sense of self—our identity. Having a strong sense of who you are isn’t a bad thing; it gives you confidence and direction. But a strong identity also makes it harder to admit when we make mistakes — and that makes it difficult to grow.
Looking back, you can see how I was rewriting the story to protect my ego and stay in my bubble. I created excuses to avoid facing the simple truth: I made a mistake on the route and fell. My ego was working extra hard to keep my bubble intact—even if it meant missing a chance to learn. This is another good post on breaking out of your bubble if you want to read more about this.
Letting Go of Your Ego
This is a perfect example of how ego can hinder growth. Instead of accepting what happened and learning from it, I focused on soothing my ego to restore my confidence. That’s why the first step in learning from your mistakes is letting go of your ego. Growth only starts once you stop trying to protect the image of who you think you are.
The more you can release your ego, the more opportunities you’ll have to expand your sense of self. It’s difficult to let go of our egos because they’re often tied to how we view ourselves. You might view yourself as a good parent, a talented athlete, or a skilled chef–and anything that challenges that image, like mistakes or shortcomings, feels threatening. So how do we free ourselves from our egos and actually learn from our mistakes?
Acknowledging What Happened
Before we can step away from our ego, we have to first accept reality. That means seeing the situation for what it is—without excuses or denial. Avoid letting the ego cloud your perception; try to view things as they are, and create space for honesty.
In my case, after falling on that climb, I could’ve looked at it objectively: I might have misread the sequence or paced myself poorly on the route. None of those possibilities threaten who I am as a climber—they just describe what actually happened.
Remember not to add judgments during this process. For instance, it could be tempting to think, “Oh, I just misread the sequence, but this route also wasn’t my style.” Saying you’re unfamiliar with the route’s style is your ego butting its head back in. Try your best to be objective and stick to the truth.
Mistakes don’t define you
Simply acknowledging the facts is powerful; it’s so easy to deny the truth and reshape reality in order to make ourselves feel better, but this often prevents you from growing as a person. The next time you make a mistake and experience an ego-threatening event, take a step back. Remind yourself: “This doesn’t define who I am.”
When you can face setbacks without the emotional lens of the ego, you gain clarity. And that clarity allows you to learn from your mistakes.
Ask Yourself “What can I do better next time?”
Once you’ve taken the ego out of the equation and acknowledged what happened, the last step is to reflect. Instead of replaying the mistake or criticizing yourself, think about potential improvements. Ask yourself: What can I do better next time?
Let’s revisit the climbing example. After falling on the route and accepting what happened, I can reflect on my performance with curiosity instead of judgment. If I fell because I misread the sequence, these are some questions I could ask myself:
“What is the right sequence?”
“Did I miss a key foothold?”
“How well did I position myself before I fell?”
These questions are pushing me to grow as a climber, and not focus my energy on protecting my ego.
Growth mindset
Questions like these move you out of a fixed mindset and into a growth mindset. (I have another post about the growth mindset if you’re interested about that and want to learn more!)
The growth mindset essentially shifts the conversation from “I failed and that’s that” to “What can I learn from this?” As a professional chef, an imperfect dish might inspire new flavor combinations for next time. The painter’s messy portrait could reveal a lack of technique that he could address.
In both these cases, improvement means embracing your mistakes and using them as growth opportunities. By treating mistakes as feedback instead of failure, you begin to see them as teachers.
Conclusion
Learning from your mistakes is about more than fixing what went wrong—it’s about expanding who you are. By letting go of your ego, acknowledging reality, and reflecting on improvements, you turn mistakes into growth.
On a route less taken, mistakes aren’t detours; they’re signposts guiding you toward your best self. Embrace them and keep moving forward!
As always, if you’ve enjoyed this post on how to learn from your mistakes, let me know in the comments and feel free to reach out with any questions!
